Consistency Mirrors Results

I had gone to Diani after a tough year, having lost my father.

I was doing what I love at the beach, which is walking aimlessly with reckless abandon, while staring at the horizon. My head was empty. The ocean was calm, resembling a waxed turquoise floor.  

At that moment, something occupied the periphery of my vision to the left. Many boats were near the beach, but this particular one stood out, as if it were an accident waiting to happen. It had a flat white top, with blurry insignia on the side, floating a kilometer away. Six foreigners, likely from the backpacking fraternity, were diving from the flat top, having the time of their lives.  

I felt something get stuck in my throat, so I swallowed. It was a taste of disgust.

I quickly looked at my feet, ashamed. As a rush of sadness bathed over me. I felt cleansed by the salty water slapping against my feet.

I looked again to my left. They were still there enjoying the ocean while I was wallowing in mild depression.

I stood there for a long time. Unable to free my feet from that position. But as the sun began to descend on the horizon and the shadows grew longer, a light bulb went off in my head.

When I returned to Nairobi, I quickly contacted my network with this question. “Who knows a person who can train me to swim in the ocean?”

I was still holding the disgust from Diani, and I wanted to put it to good use.

All roads led to Michael Owora, whom I met a week later.

As I walked into the gym, a young, handsome, well-toned man approached me with an extended hand and a smile. He directed me to get into my gear and join him for an assessment. He had warned me prior, insisting I come with my gym clothes.

It was the first time I had intentionally packed ‘gym’ clothes. They consisted of my dad bod t-shirt, flabby, and ignored, expected to be worn at short notice. I had excavated shorts from a past century, and let's not mention the shoes that mimicked sports shoes. I shrugged as I got into character.

The assessment confirmed I was clinically unfit, inflexible, and was a 50-year-old in a 33-year-old body.

And so, my journey began.

I had to be in the gym, pool, cycling or running daily, because I soon discovered I was a triathlete.

After a week, I gave up. I failed to appear at the gym for three days, and Michael sent me this message.

“If you give up now, you will never be able to overcome yourself, to face your emotions and fears and be in control.”

Maybe it was also my mind echoing these words. But ultimately, I knew I needed to master myself.

I went back.

The exercises were intense. I needed to be in the pool by 5 am in the darkness of morning. I am as blind as a bat without my spectacles. Thus, swimming in the pool became a faith project where I was honing other senses. As the sun broke, I would transition to the gym to lift weights or use the cycle equipment. Two hours usually flew by.

I remember that the only person my mind desperately wanted to compare myself to was this woman who looked 26 years old and fit. I later discovered she was much older and had several kids.

She would walk in at 5 am. Change into her swimming costume, and be off, gliding through the water like a dolphin taking a morning stroll. She would be out of the water and on to the gym before I contemplated how far I had swum.

I was struggling, panting, cursing, drinking more water than I cared to spit out. My head was a battleground fighting dejection, betrayal, rejection and atmospheric sadness. It was in those moments of struggling not to drown in the pool. Ohh! Sorry, I failed to mention I couldn’t swim. And fighting a cosmic war in my head, I realized I had to keep going.

The strange thing was that this exercise regimen, while tiring my body, was also building me anew. Every swim, gym, cycle, and run felt like guerrilla resistance to the emotional turmoil in my mind.

I released a significant amount of pent-up emotion during those first months. And then something happened. I started feeling better.

 

Mirrors

The gym had mirrors that lined the entire extent of the expansive room, reflecting back at us.

It reminded me of an experiment conducted in the wild, where mirrors of different sizes were placed at different locations, and the behavior of wild animals was observed.

The bear rushed at the mirror, threw it to the ground, and destroyed it.

The gorilla kissed and stroked the mirror.

The wild dog growled at the mirror.

The orangutan stroked the mirror.

All the wild animals had a response to their image.

 

How do you sincerely respond to your image?

 

Do you nurture and love yourself, or do you broadcast a self-loathing that extends to the world? When you stand in front of a mirror and say, I AM …….

Do you see the infinite possibilities before you as a creature created in the image of God? Who said ‘I AM.’

Do you step forth with the creative imagination to become the person you desire to be? Or do you react with ignorance, unaware, unwise and destructive?

As I stood in front of the symphony of mirrors on those first days, wearing lousy gym clothes. I began to evolve and see myself in a different light. I was intent and passionate. I had turned the disgust I felt on that Diani beach into fuel for change.

You may ask, 'what change?'

I was tired of living a mediocre life, one that was unhealthy, uninspired, and unmoving. I craved to transform my life and the lives of others. I was tired of procrastinating about writing my first book. I was done with that life. This fire kept me intensely driven and attentive, guaranteeing I was at the gym daily.  

 

Results 

January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, then came September.

“Edwin, you are ready to do your first triathlon,” the coach finally said with a smile. With that, I signed up to travel to Kericho, Chesumot Farm, a 1000-acre estate of pristine, rolling hills covered in forest, tea bushes, and an eerie dam where the contest was centered. I was to compete in a sprint triathlon: a 750m swim, a 20 km bike ride, and a 5km Run.

My heart pounded in my mouth as I swam beside a small canoe the day before the contest. I wanted to settle the intense fear that had gripped me, so I asked someone to paddle beside me as I slowly swam in the dam.  

The long grass in the murky water felt like hands reaching out from a boggy grave seeking to pull me down.  The terror I felt overran the beauty that nestled the farm.

I barely slept that night, high on dopamine. And I couldn’t think straight until the whistle blew, and we all dove into the frigid waters to start the contest the following morning.

It is safe to say I finished a few hours later, feeling as happy as a kite.  

Finally, one year after I had made my promise, stirred by the disgust I felt at others enjoying life, while I wallowed in a cocktail of self-loathing, I stood at the edge of a beach in Diani, about to dive in.

 I was scared, but I was also high on adrenaline. It was 6 am, and the ocean was calm, waves playfully inviting all of us for a swim.

I followed gingerly behind the mad crowd that rushed into the water, chasing each other and time. I looked down into the water, and a few minutes later they were far ahead. I was the young turtle breaking out of its shell on its first foray into the ocean.

As they got further away, I calmed down and reminded myself why I was in the ocean. I was not here to compete with anyone but myself, my past, my perception of me.  And the more I forged forward, the calmer I became. This thing that was meant to be my deathbed felt so peaceful and embracing.

I turned my eyes downward and saw the ocean floor suddenly descend into a beautiful display of multicoloured corals. I was in awe.   

I laughed. A belly laugh that echoed into my psyche.  

I came back to land 35 minutes later, forever changed.

I remember landing 100 meters from the designated landing site. But I was so happy and laughed until I got on the bike and entered another life, with many mental walls broken.

 

In conclusion, I want to remind you that you have the right to dream of an alternative life from what you have right now. Find people who can provide you with the knowledge and support you need. Be intensely passionate and consistent about following it, regardless of your mental and physical obstacles. Based on your habits, see yourself living that life, one small step at a time. In time, you will see the results you desire.

 

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NB: I shared this as a keynote speech on 29th March 2025 at Division C Toastmasters Contest.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog! I'm Edwin Moindi, a Life and Habit Coach dedicated to helping people understand their habits, navigate their emotions, and cultivate emotional intelligence for a happier, more balanced life. I'd love to hear your thoughts—feel free to reach out and share your insights or questions!