Last Tuesday evening, 46 people attended The Clarity Room for a free coaching session on Zoom, which I host every Tuesday from 7 pm to 8 pm. Some guests arrived early, while others showed up exactly on time. A few arrived fashionably late, which is a polite way of saying they intended to come at seven but were distracted by life, work, children, traffic, dinner, WhatsApp, existential dread, or a mix of these factors. It happened to be my 43rd birthday. Now, birthdays have a funny way of making a man reflective. You start to realize that recovery takes longer than it used to. Your knees occasionally send formal complaints after a run. And you begin to notice that wisdom often arrives disguised as mistakes you swore you would never make again. Perhaps that is why the evening's topic felt particularly fitting. The Hidden Scripts Running Your Life. As people settled into the Zoom room, I asked a simple question. “Where do you feel stuck?” The responses started appea...
This is a story inspired by Episode 2 of The Men's Group Debate Series, held on June 6, 2026, at Savelberg Retreat Center in Nairobi , under the theme "The Men Nairobi Raised Are Not the Men Nairobi Needs." --- There is a particular look some men develop after life has taken a sledgehammer to their plans. Not immediately afterward — immediately afterward, everybody becomes dramatic. There are emergency meetings, prayer requests, lawyers, concerned relatives, and WhatsApp groups that suddenly become more active than Parliament during a scandal. Advice arrives from every direction. Some of it is useful. Some of it is generated by people whose own lives resemble a building under demolition. No. The look arrives later. Months later. Sometimes years later. It is the look of a man who is functioning yet uncertain. The look of a man who pays his bills, attends meetings, answers emails, services the car, renews his insurance, and remembers birthdays — yet quietly wonder...